White Water Rafting

"Search Efforts Still Underway for Local Educator"...the headline about jumped off the page; my coffee suddenly ice cold in my throat, even though the newspaper was several years old.  Funny that I would find it today as I was packing up old books in preparation for moving to a new position. 

I remembered that day...I was stuck under a rock with just a tiny crevice for breathing room.  I could hear people calling my name, but I couldn't see anyone. I sensed they were about to call off the search, but I couldn't make them hear me over the rushing water. It was almost dark. I was pinned between two rocks - that looked like they were joined together - sort of like between a rock and a hard place....

What a great analogy to an experience I suffered - yes, suffered (it was painful) a few years back.  I was eventually rescued, obviously.  And though I wondered then about the safety of my chosen profession, I kept right at it...because I realized that when you are teaching (or white water rafting), you are often between a rock and a hard place.   If you aren't careful, you can propel yourself right out of the raft and into a downspout, never to be seen again. 

On this particular rafting trip, I was facilitating a session on presentation skills with a group of individuals with whom I believed I had developed a certain level of trust. We were also working on giving honest constructive feedback, something the group had difficulty demonstrating.   During the course of the session, the team decided to make a game of it and appointed "judges," playing off the very popular (at the time) television show American Idol.  I remember thinking to myself..."Wow, we are finally at a good place here..they're having fun; they're learning; they've accepted what we're trying to do.   Feedback sessions should go well."  

The next member of the group walked slowly to the front of the room and in a low, monotone voice began to share his thoughts.  It was beyond boring. In a moment of love and trust and openness with the group, I decided to make a visual statement of constructive feedback; pretending to be Simon from American Idol.  I laid down on the floor, put papers over my eyes and started "snoring." 

Most of the participants laughed, even the "presenter."  Made bold by the laughter, I played Simon to the hilt for the rest of the session.  A few days passed. I was still reeling from the success of the session and the connection with the group. And then...my boss called me into his office, proceeding to share with me that I had offended the "presenter" and possibly some other individuals.  He suggested that I might want to do some "damage control."  I became a bit angry...how dare they laugh like everything was okay and then go behind my back and complain.  I had thrown my life jacket to the wind and now felt like I was drowning. 

Back in the raft, life jacket tight around me, I began the "damage" control efforts.  I was no longer angry.  I felt, instead, a sense of failure and depression.  What was it going to take to turn the raft in the right direction?  I called the "offended party" first.  To my astonishment, he apologized to me for complaining, sharing that he (nor the group) was accustomed to honest feedback.  It was hard for him to hear and he reacted rather than responded when someone asked him about the session.  The other participants shared much the same...if anything, I caught them off guard with the honesty.  And perhaps, I could have shared the feedback a bit differently...I took it too far with the Simon role. 

  

As a result of that experience, this white water rafter decided to better prepare herself along with her fellow rafters for the next trip down the river.  Navigating the river is hard enough when the water is smooth.  Keeping the raft in the water is key to success...as is not stirring up the river unnecessarily.